Self-esteem is the experience of feeling
worthy of love and happiness and feeling capable of handling
lifes challenges. We quickly begin to lose the healthy
sense of self we are born with as we go through lifes
many experiences. If our caregivers lack self-esteem, they
will be unable to mirror it back to us nor nurture it within
us. Slowly, it gets chipped away by other authority figures,
by our peers, and by society at large. Out of their lack of
awareness, they may be projecting onto us their own fears
or failings. Or they may have us believe we are here to fit
a particular moldwhich may have so little to do with
who we arethat it can literally make us sick if we follow
it. In this weakened state, the media can easily sway us into
believing we are our makeup, or our body, or our prowess,
or our job, or our religion, or our fame, or the money we
earn. We then begin to mistake self love with selfishness,
or selfishness with self-love. When we lose our esteem, we
on others for approval and a sense of self.
Although we are born with healthy esteem,
it slowly dissipates as our sense of self gets buried alive
by critical or hurtful parental and societal messages. These
messages destroy our belief in our self; they derail us into
operating out of logic and practicality without regard to
our desires, intuition, or true needs. We then begin to believe
we are unworthy of anything good. These critical voices suppress
our healthy esteem and sense of knowing. In its place, we
develop a shallow view of life and ourselves that is stultifying.
When we have self worth, we can stand in the power of love.
When we lose the self, we settle for the love of power or
no power at all.
It is very difficult to pass on a sense
of esteem or self-love when you dont possess it yourself.
You are your parents promise. You have come to complete
what they cannot and to break the chain of dysfunction in
your family lineage. Through therapy, you can set boundaries
around all the crippling critical voices and make room for
the voice that carries your esteem, the still, small voice
you were born with and were meant to reclaim.